Glasses. Part two of a Journey.

Like I said, I went for an eye test yesterday. I went to a place in New Lynn called Spec's Savers. I did not go alone. My charming husband came along as well, he already has glasses, but things had changed for him and he too needed an eye test.

We arrived about ten minutes early and the assitant took more details and took us one by one to a pre screening room. Jim was first. While he was in there I strted to try on all the frames I thought may suit. I started in the cheapest section first. They were foul. I moved to the next section up, and had two possibilities. Then the next price bracket and a few more options. I then got a pamphlet with tips about getting glasses frames to suit with a picture of Gok Wan on the front. It was packed with one sentence wonders about skin tome, face shape, make up, nose placement and more! After reading it I decided I needed to look for long gold-metal-plastic-angular-black-clolouful-square-round frames! I should also give up on eye shadow, get new lipstick, move my nose, get a tan, grow my hair and lose weight off my cheeks! I am afraid Gok was screwed up in a ball and shoved carelessly in my large handbag!

Then it was my turn for the pre-screen. Puffs of air blasted into each eye-ball. I had to look at a road and a hot air balloon. I had to press a button when I saw a flicker. Not too bad!

Then back to try on more frames. This time I tried on a pair of ROXY Brand frames. OUTSTANDING! Very cool! I liked them! I still didn't want them but so far they were the best by a country mile. $589. Typical, the most expensive in store. I was dis-heartened so i sat down again to read the Spec-Saver clear price policy. I found it was full of hooks and barbs. Extra for this and that, two pair frame deal which included one pair of lenses? WTF???? Damn this was going to empty my already recessionised bank account!

Jim finished his eye test. He looked miserable. I did not have time to stop and chat because I was up next. I sat down and was asked some standard Questions. One was about drugs i took. i mentioned the first one, Metformin. I take this not for diabetes which most folk take it for but another condition, polycystic ovaries. Well my optician just loved that! I spent ten minutes giving her a symptom by symptom report on what it was to have this condition! I didn't want too! I wanted my Gaoddam eye test so I kept trying to give her the abridged version. It didn't work.

I learned all about her. Her nationality, age menstual cycle amount of body hair how her Mum died and on and ON! Oh my GOD! Get me out of this HELL in a Mall! I even got a dose of Bible bashing too! Apparently if I pray hard enough I will be able to have children! Miracles happen! Medicle ones and ones ordained by the Big Bloke in the Sky! One of her clients who had "Two drops a year!" (Again OMG!!!!!! I DON'T CARE!) prayed so hard she got three babies! Bloody hell! There is hope for my middle aged self yet! One problem though. I don't believe. So I guess its a no baby for me!

Any way on to the eye test FINALLY! It felt like it took about 2 minutes yet i had been trapped in that room for a life time! PRESBYOPIA! That is what I have! I sighed inwardly. I KNEW IT! I am old and blind and my life is finished!!!!!!

So next I said "What does that mean?" She said to me that it meant that I am at the very beginning of needing to hold the page further back to see it. Oh. is that it? Then she said, glasses blah, blah, blah, glasses, blah, blah! I listened intently. My vision was what? "EXCELLENT!" Really? But I have this presbyopia thing? She said yes, you need low magnification glasses for reading! I asked her if the $20 warehouse ones would do. She said YES!!!!!!!!! She added a discalimer that i would be better off getting a prescription pair to my exact specification. But I am sure that is just to cover her tiny ass! So I clarified, glasses were optional at this stage. She agreed but warned me in another two or so years I would need real ones!

A reprieve! I can pretend to be less old for another full two years! Maybe my life is not so bad after all! Maybe I won't be washed up by January the 15th when I turn 40! Maybe there is still time to do something useful after all!

This morning I could not wait to get my bum to the cheap Asian shop in Three Kings. I found what i needed for the princely sum of $4.00 for two pairs!!!!!! One for my desk and one for my bag. They don't look that bad either!

Life is on the up I think!