A Trip to Newmarket.

I have a friend. We have always been friends. Well friends since we were five years old. Sometimes we didn't talk or see each other for years, but she was still my friend. Circumstances meant we didn't always live in the same town or even the same country. But I always thought of her as my friend even when we were not doing friend shit. I have not had another friend like this and probably never will.

We are both a bit strange I think. We ask strange questions. I asked her the other day if she found a mouse in her toaster would she shriek and run away? Or would she push the handle down and toast it? I new what she was going to say before she said it. My answer was the opposite to hers but that some how made it better.

We have totally opposite tastes in many things. We don't look at all alike. She is long and straight, I am medium and round. She looks fabulous in clothes and I look like a dumpy housewife. Except when I am wearing my boots of course. My lovely boots! She likes mats made of creatures and I like them made of acrylic. I like a shiny red vinyl bag with matching shoes, she likes a soft pale chocolate suede one with contrasting accents on her shoes!

Despite this we get on. We get each others jokes and swear like sailors. We both like to eat cakes and chocolate and dine in cafes. We are as different in appearance and personality as you could imagine, yet we are the same. She doesn't mind being seen with me in my Warehouse top with safetypins on it and I like to brag about her $850 shoes! The one thing we both love is shopping.

We can out-shop the best of them on any given day. I am on the prowl for bargains and sales and things to sell on Trade Me. She likes all the good shit that costs the big bucks! This makes us a great team in that we can cover all the bases and between us will never miss a shoppertunity.

We went shopping last week in fact. We went to Newmarket. Niether of us had been for a matter of years. We looked at many items for sale and had a nice lunch at Zarbo. We were there for one item and one item only! BOOTS! Not for me, I have three pairs and am saving my pennies. But for her. We walked the length of Newmaket and looked in every shoe shop. Money was no object! Getting a pair to fit was! My friend has large calves so has difficulty in getting a full length leather boot. There are some with elastic in the side or the back but these are not to her liking. Fair enough too. Boots are important so you must not settle for less than perfect!

It is interesting the difference in sales techniques we encountered on our trip. We met a lady with a scarf on who was very apologetic that she could not help us. She apologised for the wait while she went out the back and she thanked us for our patience. I was taken with her because if it were me I would have slapped us. We go into her shop and try on all these boots and then leave a huge mess and buy nothing.

My friend went into another store that had shelves of boots near the side of the shop. She said to the assistant: "Do you sell boots?" She looked my friend down then up then down again and spat at her: "No, we DON'T ssssssell BOOTSSSSSSSS!" Horrifying really, no wonder Keith Matheson is about to go out of business with an attitude like that!

We left the bustle of 277 and went to cross the road. A car load of youngsters were parked on the crossing. My friend still wiping the spittle off her face from the Keith Matheson woman said: "Yeah just park there!" "It's noy like its a fucken crossing or anything!" I don't think they heard her but it was pretty funny!

We moved on to Briarwood who pride themselves on quality NZ made goods and tried on some Chinese made boots that did not fit. I wondered what part of NZ they came from. My friend had no luck despite us yanking so hard on a zipper I cut my thumb and started sweating! She did get a lovely pair of pink jandals though! SCORE!

We wove in and out of the stores being presented with boot after boot, nothing that worked. To make up for it a lovely cow-skin bag was purchased. It was a snip at $199. We decided it had nits. We asked the assitant what the white dots all over it were. She looked at us like we were a runny turd left by my dog. She avoided the question. We decided that they were skin chips and my friend handed over her eftpos card.

The highlight for me was going to Mia Piacci. My friend found a pair of boots that had possibility. She struggled into them. The first one nearly did up! The second one I yanked the zip so hard it went all the way up! The assitant smiled but her heart was not in it. She was worried for the safety of her boots. My friend stomped about in them for a bit and decided that they were so tight she could not decide if they were the ones!

She removed the first one with ease. The second one was stuck fast. The zip was stuck. It did not want to unzip! I had my hand in the boot, the knee high stocking was caught. I pulled so hard I thought I would faint! I broke out in a sweat! The assitants once smiling mouth was all of a sudden in the shape of a puckered arsehole! What could we do!? We were both grunting and sweating like pigs on a hot day! Finally one of us unhooked the offending nylon and inched the zip down! I pulled hard on the boot and it flew off! Relief!

Needless to say we are still friends this week and will be next week all going well!